I think as far as mental illness goes Winter and the holidays is the hardest time of year not only for me but for the mental illness world as a whole. I know that at the end of October I Usually Face my down time of year.. It is not something that is in control and though over the last 2 years I have fought tooth and nail against my Mental Illness and determined not to go back to that dark place ever, ever again, the plain reality of the situation is that.. it is going to sneak up on me and smack me when i least expect it No matter how strong i may be.. As i preach this not only to myself and to others “there is no cure as far as mental illness goes” and though i have done really extremely well over the last two years I have to face the fact that “No April, You are not cured!”
Ok, Now that i have finally accepted this fact I can move on. Winter has set in on my brain and there is a blizzard happening but I can overcome this, and I am determined that i will. I guess i should of realized this days ago when i was at the task at sweeping my kitchen and living floor in my small apartment and searched 15 minutes for a dust pan I knew was there and fighting the insane fact that it got up and walked away and end result finding the stupid thing attached to the broom the whole freakin time.. Yeah i did end up finding it a bit funny as did my Best friend. So I just put it off as a typical Aspie Moment for me.. I swear as i say this that i would loose my own head if it wasn’t attached to me.
I know that I still have a ways to go and much i still need to learn but i will and with God leading me and holding my hand I know everything will be ok because God is always with us weather we see or feel him Holding our hand and telling us “Hey You, Winter does not last forever!! so i end with this hoping I can just crash into spring