A New Beginning

I am writing this so i may be a light to some of you.. my name is April and i am a survior of suicide.
My first attempt was at 13 and i had many more up until the age of 36. sometimes 4 attempts a month.
I suffer from Asperger’s syndrome, I am Bi-Polar, Major anxiety disorder, ODD you name it i probably have it.
I am a victim of Mental and Physical abuse from my childhood and in adulthood.. and for years I was lost to everyone
I was in the deepest darkest place where no one could reach me.. I HATED MYSELF.. and though people
tried no one could help me because i didn’t want to be helped.. I wanted to live in my pain and anger and hate, but then
I found i was loosing the closest and most precious thing i had in my life and those where my children.. They were literally
watching me die.. So on new years eve of 2010 i made the decision to change my life because the only way i could do that
was ME.. most of the problem i found was situational and mentally and physically i was beyond hope.. It was the hardest,
most difficult decision i ever had to make but it was the most LIFE-CHANGING!! New years day I left behind everything i knew
no money, no home really but if i stayed it would of been death there is no doubt about that..Now 2 years later i have been
Suicide free and totally off ALL depression and anxiety medication..I know most of you believe there is no hope and no light
but i am here to testify that there IS.. I am proof of that.. I found there is lessons and struggles in our life we must face
either to learn what we DON’t want in our life or to be a stronger person within ourselves.. It is a difficult journey
but EVERYONE has a purpose and YOU ALL are important in some way.. DON’T GIVE UP BECAUSE AS I HAVE PROVED THE DARKNESS
DOES NOT LAST FOREVER..

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