A New Beginning

I am writing this so i may be a light to some of you.. my name is April and i am a survior of suicide.
My first attempt was at 13 and i had many more up until the age of 36. sometimes 4 attempts a month.
I suffer from Asperger’s syndrome, I am Bi-Polar, Major anxiety disorder, ODD you name it i probably have it.
I am a victim of Mental and Physical abuse from my childhood and in adulthood.. and for years I was lost to everyone
I was in the deepest darkest place where no one could reach me.. I HATED MYSELF.. and though people
tried no one could help me because i didn’t want to be helped.. I wanted to live in my pain and anger and hate, but then
I found i was loosing the closest and most precious thing i had in my life and those where my children.. They were literally
watching me die.. So on new years eve of 2010 i made the decision to change my life because the only way i could do that
was ME.. most of the problem i found was situational and mentally and physically i was beyond hope.. It was the hardest,
most difficult decision i ever had to make but it was the most LIFE-CHANGING!! New years day I left behind everything i knew
no money, no home really but if i stayed it would of been death there is no doubt about that..Now 2 years later i have been
Suicide free and totally off ALL depression and anxiety medication..I know most of you believe there is no hope and no light
but i am here to testify that there IS.. I am proof of that.. I found there is lessons and struggles in our life we must face
either to learn what we DON’t want in our life or to be a stronger person within ourselves.. It is a difficult journey
but EVERYONE has a purpose and YOU ALL are important in some way.. DON’T GIVE UP BECAUSE AS I HAVE PROVED THE DARKNESS
DOES NOT LAST FOREVER..

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5 thoughts on “A New Beginning

  1. myra fabian says:

    I applaud you for being a survivor, love. You are a light and are going to continue to light the path for others. And may THAT part of you go on forever!

    • thank you the road is not an easy one and i still have a ways to go but I know if i can overcome then everyone can but only if they decided it for themselves

      • myra fabian says:

        That really is the key – deciding for yourself. My 18-year-old AS, Bi-polar, social anxiety, depressed daughter is learning that, now that she’s 18, I can’t make these decisions for her or make her have a will to go on. Sometimes, buying a kitten for her just doesn’t seem like enough.

  2. April,
    You truly are a survivor, and you should be very proud of your achievements.May God bless and watch over you! You are an inspiration to others who are suffering and struggling with different problems.
    Sincerely,
    Lisa Gallagher

    • thank you Lisa and i am very proud of how far i have come.. though i still have much i am learning, I know that i can be a light to others through how i can overcome… and if i can,then i have faith that others can also

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